Imitation Is The Highest Form of Satire
by Solo Ensemble
Summary: [Liason COMPLETE]: When Lucy decides to shake up the Nurses Ball a little bit, Elizabeth Webber gets a onceinalifetime opportunity.


_In my opinion, this is kinda silly and dumb, but I've gotten absolutely wonderful feedback on it, so I figure if it amuses people, that's reason enough to post. Oh, goodness, please don't mock my frivolity! biting fingernails_

**Imitation is the Highest Form of Satire**

_**In his office…**_

Alan Quartermaine shuffled through the papers on his desk. Bills, junk mail, memos, flyers, everything he didn't need or want. Taking off his bifocals, Alan rubbed his eyes tiredly. When had his workload become so overwhelming? Sighing, he turned his head to the now slightly blurry frame on his wall. _More people ask the Lord to lighten their burdens than ask him to strengthen their backs_. Replacing his lenses, Alan looked around his office. His desk was buried somewhere underneath the large mound of papers on it. His bookshelves were overflowing with various medical texts and theses from promising new medical students, and even the occasional Archie comic books. His windowsills were covered with pens, rulers, and dust.

Getting up from his leather desk chair, Alan made his way between piles of books and boxes to the door. A walk around the hospital would do his nerves good. After that, he'd be ready to tackle his obligations once more. A stroll through the well-lighted halls always lifted his spirits and calmed his mind.

He walked through pediatrics, smiling at the high school volunteers reading stories to the young patients, and answered their chipper "Good morning, Dr. Q!" with a nod. Rounding the corner, he strode down the long corridor, headed for the information desk in front of the elevators. He rounded the corner once more and came to a dead stop by the small waiting area.

Lucy Coe stood in front of the elevators clutching a large blue Tupperware box like a lifeline. She had her arms wrapped around the top, and the box partly concealed her pink cardigan. She switched the weight of it from one knee to another, her printed floral skirt swirling around her as she hopped from one heeled foot to the other. Why she didn't just drop it to the floor puzzled him, but he knew better than to ask. It was kind of like the time she hadn't wanted to sit on the grass at the carnival for fear of large rats, rats she had undoubtedly conjured up with the help of her overactive imagination. As he watched her yell to passersby, he couldn't help wonder why they hadn't locked her up already. Preferably in a padded cell somewhere.

"Whoever hasn't picked up their assignments for the Nurses Ball yet, get your butts over here right now!" yelled Lucy.

"Lucy," Alan began in a mock stern voice, walking over to her. "No solicitation on hospital grounds."

"Oh, dry up, Alan," she tossed back irritably. "I'm in charge of distributing these things, and I have to make sure I hand them out to as many people as possible. So if you don't leave me alone and go back to doing whatever it is you doctors do, I'm going to revoke your costume slip and give you that of Winnie the Pooh. And I'm sure you'll love having a billion little kids run into you at exactly crotch level." Tossing her head, she dismissed him and continued to yell.

Head hanging and shoulders drooped, Alan made his way back to his office. He never should have left. Strange things happened and weird people always showed up whenever he left. Now he made up his mind to stay there until as late in the evening as he could. Maybe this was what his frame meant when it talked of strengthening the back instead of alleviating the burden.

Behind her, the elevator opened with a _ding!_ and Lucy spun around to face Elizabeth Webber, clothed in her black running suit. A light white sweater partly covered her exposed midriff, and her curly ponytail bounced as she stepped onto the main floor.

"Elizabeth!" Lucy sang gaily. "Long time no see."

"Hi, Lucy," the younger woman replied with a warm smile.

"Have you picked up your slip for the Nurses' Ball yet?"

Elizabeth's brow shot up, a silent question in her eyes. "No. What's that?"

Lucy let out an exasperated groan, and was about to throw her hands in the air when she remembered her box. Frustrated by her sense of confinement, she dropped it to the ground. Freed, she turned her menacing gaze on the young brunette once again. "What do you mean you haven't? Where have you been this last week?"

"I was on a beach in Cape Cod with Emily," Elizabeth replied defensively. Freeing her curls from their ponytail, she raked a hand through them.

"Oh," said Lucy. She was all smiles now. "Well, if you've been away, I can't possibly be mad at you, can I?"

"I should hope not," Elizabeth smiled.

"Come on, let's sit down so that I can explain it all to you." Lucy steered Elizabeth to the plush red couches in the waiting area, kicking her box along with her. Seating herself, she quickly pulled Elizabeth down as well as she reached for her container.

"What's with this whole slip thing, Lucy? And what does it have to do with the Nurses'-" Elizabeth's questions were cut off by Lucy's hand.

"Here's the deal," she began. "This year, we're changing the Ball around a little. You know, variety is the spice of life and all that." When Elizabeth nodded, Lucy continued. "So, I'm giving out little slips with different assignments on them. Whatever you draw, that's what you have to show up dressed as. The day before the ball, you can perform for the judges if you wish, or if your costume is more of a performance type. It's really just up to you. Then, you come to the Nurses Ball. But we're still letting everyone sign up for time to do their skits and whatnot."

Elizabeth nodded once more. "Is there some sort of explanatory part, where we all announce what we came as?" .

"Not really," Lucy answered, running her long fingers over the corner of her treasured box. "See, there's going to be a contest in which everyone competes for trophies that we hand out. There will be several categories, and the two runners up in each category will receive those cute little ribbons with the medals on it."

"I get it," Elizabeth answered. "That sounds like a lot of fun. Do I get to pick a slip, too?"

"Of course!" Lucy cried. She grabbed the box from the floor and set it on her lap. Opening the lid, she motioned for Elizabeth to pick. Reaching her hand into the box, Elizabeth shuffled around. Grasping a piece of paper, she started to slowly pull it out when Lucy began to slam the lid shut. Jerking her hand out quickly, Elizabeth unfolded the small square under Lucy's giant grin.

Her eyes bugged out. No possible way. No # way. This wasn't happening. She was _not_ going to do this. No way in hell.

Turning back to Lucy, Elizabeth cried, "Lucy, I got a ridiculous assignment. Can I get a re-do?"

"Nope!" Lucy cried, snatching up her box. "You got what you got, baby cakes!" With that, she jumped up and fled before Elizabeth could insist.

"Damn it!" she cursed. Of all the crazy, ridiculous, far-fetched costume concepts, trust her to pick the most insane one of all. And why? Because that's just how her life worked, damn it.

Placing her elbows on her knees, Elizabeth buried her head in her hands, allowing the white slip to flutter noiselessly to the floor. Sighing, she rubbed her temples, willing her sudden headache to disappear like Lucy's sanity.

_This is so ridiculous_, she glowered.

_But you did draw it_, spoke a voice inside her head.

How she hated that voice. And feeling like a fool, she began to converse with it. _I don't care. It's ridiculous, and odds are, it's going to get me killed._

_Oh, come now. Stop with the melodramatics. Besides, luck of the draw._

_But it's crazy!_

_I bet tons of other people have worse. No one ever really wins with these random drawing things. Kind of like Trivial Pursuit; by the end of the game, you're thoroughly convinced that you're an imbecile._

_I guess…_

_Look, you can do it. Just try to make the best of it. _

I guess I could try…

_There! That's the spirit! Now aren't you glad we had this little chat? _

No.

Retrieving the paper from the floor, Elizabeth jumped up from the plush couch. Striding over to the main desk, she exchanged a few words with the receptionist. Her Gram had left a note apologizing for not being able to make it to lunch. But as Elizabeth punched the elevator button, she was far from disappointed. After all, she suddenly found that she had plenty of things that needed to be taken care of.

_**At the Nurses Ball, a few days later…**_

"Welcome, everyone!" yelled Lucy. "Welcome to our first annual Nurses' _Costume_ Ball!"

Her salutatory speech was met with applause, as well as laughter and cat-calls.

"Hey, Miss!" came a young male voice from the audience. "May I request room service?"

As the audience laughed, Lucy frowned down at her outfit. Her frilly black dress, which she had squeezed on over three short petticoats, ended several inches above her knees. An embroidered white apron was knotted tightly at her waist. She wore six inch black heels, and her hair was in a loose bun atop her head, with a rather silly looking lace hat pinned at the top. In her hand, she held the microphone and a gray feather duster. _And to think I thought I was lucky, drawing the French maid slip from the box,_ she cursed.

"Well, let's get this show on the road," she exclaimed, ignoring her discomfort. "So sit back, watch the show, donate for our cause, and get ready for the contest, folks!"

This was again met with applause, as everyone settled back for what promised to be a very entertaining evening.

_**After the song and skit portion…**_

"It's time for the contest, everyone!" cried Lucy, making her way to the stage. She had exchanged her maids' outfit for a shimmering black floor-length evening gown, much to her own relief. Her fuzzy bun had been unraveled and the shiny curls now flowed over her narrow shoulders. She found her podium and attached the microphone, while signaling to her aide, Bradley, to make sure he had the trophies and ribbons in order. Receiving a thumbs-up, she turned back to her attentive audience.

"We have a lot of different categories this year, ladies and gentlemen, so as to have as many recipients as possible. We have Most Original, for the most creative and well thought out costume; the Most Entertaining, for the costume that gives us the giggles; the Most Provocative, translated loosely into the skimpiest one in the room; the Most Realistic for the costume that is the most historically accurate; the Most Mirrored award for the costume that most parallels one's personality or other characteristics; the Most Contradictory for just the opposite; the Cutest Costume for the little ones; the Best Foreign Costume for assignments from other cultures, Cutest Couple, and, of course, the Best in Show, for the costume that best blends all the previous categories. Well, with the exception of the Mirrored and Contradictory stuff." She paused to inhale the breath she had forsaken during her small speech, and then continued. "There will be two runners up for each category, so we'll have tons of prizes to distribute this evening. To all of those who showed up in your costumes, and to those of you that took the time to perform for the judges yesterday, give yourselves a pat on the back. Winners or not, you all played a very active part in keeping the Nurses' Ball as special as it always is. Thank you for your support and cooperation!"

The audience applauded respectively once more. From their seats in the center of the room, Sonny and Jason began to talk quietly.

"This is actually kinda cute," Sonny began, adjusting his eye patch. "Between Elton's costume of that Justin Timberwolf character, or whatever his name is, and Scott's portrayal of Elvis, this has got to be one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Even funnier than when Johnny showed up drunk at that meeting with the five families about two years ago."

"I don't know," Jason answered, shaking his head. "That one took the cake, I thought. He started dancing on the table singing 'My baby does the hanky-panky'. And then he dumped red wine on Sammy Tagliati. And the poor guy was wearing a white suit, too. Fun times." Shoving his horn-rimmed glasses back up his nose, Jason continued. " I still can't believe Courtney and Carly wormed us into wearing these things."

"Yeah," nodded Sonny. "But I figure that, hey, it's only for one night. And it's for the girls, so I figure we can do it." Stretching out languidly in his chair, Sonny closed his eyes momentarily.

Jason sighed heavily and reached for his water. Turning back to his boss, he shrugged and said, "Well, let's get this show on the road. Sooner it's over, the sooner I can get out of this monstrosity."

"Here, here," answered Sonny, clinking his mineral water with Jason's. Both settled back to make the most of the evening, as Lucy prepared to announce the first divisions.

Lucy took the envelope Bradley offered her and turned back to the crowd. "First up is Most Original!" she yelled to the crowd.

Everyone applauded respectfully, anxious for the contest to begin. Lucy carefully opened the envelope, and spoke into the microphone.

"And the winner for Most Original is… Lucky Spencer for his portrayal of a cowboy!"

The audience applauded loudly and enthusiastically, with all of Lucky's friends hooting and yelling above the din.

Lucky got up from his table and strolled onto the stage. He was holding a raggedy stick horse proudly between his legs. The eyes were a bit loose and swayed as he walked, and a patch was sewn into the side of the animal's face. Lucky wore his khaki-colored cowboy hat and his tight blue jeans, and the fringes from his brown suede jacket swung to and fro past his chest. Underneath, his ornate silver belt buckle threw off the bright lights of the stage. In his other hand, Lucky hefted an antique rifle with LS engraved in silver on the butt.

But it was the last part of his appearance that had the audience howling with laughter. Tied to his wrist, Lucky's old dog Foster lumbered behind his master. Foster wore a silver cow bell, and had black leather "spots" slung across his back and cinched underneath his flabby flank.

Lucky reached Lucy at the podium and proudly accepted his award, turning around and tipping his hat to the audience. Lucky gently tugged on his faithful old dog's leash, the twain made their way back to their seats.

Sonny and Jason followed the young man with their eyes, both fighting to regain their composure. As their laughter subsided, they focused once more on Lucky's table. As soon as he sat down, his entire table began making fun of him. Emily snatched up his hat while Nikolas grabbed the rifle. Zander patted his knee for Foster, and Lucky almost toppled over as the dog leapt for the boy.

Sonny's steel eyes scanned the nearby tables before he turned back to Jason. "Hey, where'd Elizabeth go?" he inquired. Jason also made quick work of scanning the room for the petite brunette.

"I don't know," he murmured. ""She was here before, wasn't she?"

Sonny nodded. "Yeah," he answered, looking towards the orchestra. "She was playing the violin during Dillon and Georgie's song, and then she and Alcazar did 'The Way You Make Me Feel'."

"Huh," Jason grunted. Alcazar. Damn it, why did Elizabeth always have to be so stubborn? It was as if she wrote down a list of everything she knew he'd disapprove of, and went from there. Women. Reaching for his water once more, he mused," Maybe she's just in the powder room or something. Women seem to like it there."

"Maybe," Sonny agreed. "What do they do in a powder room, anyway?"

"No idea," Jason replied, shaking his head. He had enough trouble just figuring Elizabeth out; forget women in general.

"And now we've got the award for Most Entertaining," Lucy's voice echoed throughout the Versailles Room. "And let me tell ya, Spence, you almost got this one instead." She smiled as the audience chuckled at her remark, and then ripped open the envelope. "And the award for Most Entertaining goes to Edward Quartermaine for the Cat in the Hat!"

The audience applauded madly as Edward rose from his seat as regally as possible, which was no small task since he was dressed like a lanky feline. He kissed Lila on the cheek before making his way for the stage. Jason could hardly believe his eyes as his grandfather stepped into the bright lights. He wore a white furry pajama suit with feet, and a zipper that ran the length of his body until his waist. It was the type of sleeper suit that Michael had once worn, Jason thought. Only his boy's wasn't furry, and it was blue.

Shaking his head quickly, Jason took in the rest of Edward's outfit. He wore furry white mittens that fit snugly over the wrists of his pajama suit. The trophy almost slipped from his hands as his grandfather begrudgingly accepted it, and Jason chuckled as Edward quickly brought another furry hand underneath the trophy to prevent it from bouncing down the stage. As he turned and made his way down the stairs, the two foot tall red-and-white hat perched precariously atop his head lurched to the side, causing Edward to lose his balance temporarily as the audience howled for more.

Shaking his fist with an irritated "Rabble rousers!" Edward resumed his seat next to his wife and son.

"And now," Lucy cried into the mic. Her voice was getting sore already. "It's time for the Most Provocative, loosely translated as Skimpiest." Tearing open her envelope, she continued, "And the award goes to Carly Corinthos for her portrayal of… a stripper?"

Carly squealed with delight as she rose from her seat. Sonny quickly pecked her on the cheek as she shoved her way out from their group and made her way down the aisle. Her six-inch skirt, tied only at the sides, left little to the imagination as she sashayed toward the stage. Her top consisted of little more than a lavender sequined bra, and her face was caked with make-up. She proudly accepted her trophy from Lucy, and stopped to wave to Courtney.

As she turned around and walked for the stairs, her silver spiked high heels hit a snag in the hardwood and she toppled into a nearby usher. In an effort to brace her fall and maintain his own balance, his hands landed squarely on her rump, bringing Sonny to his feet. The audience cackled and howled as Carly squawked in indignation and angrily pushed the usher away from her. She adjusted her skirt, which had twisted halfway around her hips, and continued her trek back to her seat, glaring icily at the crowd that insisted on laughing so wickedly at her mishaps.

"And now, the award for Most Realistic goes to…. Reginald Jennings for his portrayal of Jack Kerouac!"

The audience cheered loudly at Reggie's name. He was always a favorite at these type of society events. No doubt, his costume would show much creativity and foresight, not to mention his riotous sense of dry humor.

Leticia gave Reggie a quick kiss as he rose from their table. Big Alice clapped him on the back, and Joe the Gardener quickly shook his hand. Even Greg the Accountant cheered and hooted loudly.

As Reggie made his way slowly to the stage, he suddenly became very self-conscious of his appearance. Here he was, walking before most of the town, not to mention his employers, in the rattiest clothes he was able to find. Shifting the thick stack of books in his arms, he used his free hand to tug up his worn corduroy pants. His open flannel shirt parted more, revealing the old white undershirt he wore. As he advanced onto the stage, his Jesus sandals flapped against its slick surface.

Reaching for the mic, he turned to address the audience. "Many of you may have a problem with us beatniks," he spoke, his smooth voice booming over the sound system. "But we don't have a problem with anything. Apple pie, bowling, Zen, Eisenhower – we dig it all."

The famous quote from one of America's most famed social critics brought a resounding round of applause from the room. The crowd started cheering and didn't stop until after Reggie had resumed his seat between a blushing Leticia and a grinning Greg.

"And the award for Cutest Costume goes to.. Lulu Spencer for being a pumpkin!"

The crowd applauded madly as a small orange orb made its way between the tables onto the stage. Luke, Lesley, Lucky, Nikolas, Emily and Zander all stood up and clapped wildly as the pumpkin made her way half-blindly for Lucy's podium. Grabbing a handful of Lucy's black gown, the pumpkin tugged, requesting the microphone. Lucy unattached it and held it out for the little girl. Lulu grabbed the stump of the pumpkin and pulled it off, her small head emerging from within. Wrapping both arms around her orange girth to fully grasp the mic, Lulu shouted, "Hi Daddy!"

As she replaced her stump and began to find her way off the stage and back to her table, Luke stood up again and yelled, through his cupped hands, "Way to go, Pumpkin!"

"And the award for the Most Mirrored Costume goes to Sonny Corinthos for his portrayal of a pirate!"

There was a hushed pause as Sonny rose from his seat and proceeded down the aisle. As if on cue, the entire audience began to laugh and applaud in unison. Turning his head from side to side as he walked, Sonny could even see a few patrons wipe the tears from their eyes. He didn't know that he was going to be _this_ big of a hit. Now his associates would never let him hear the end of it. And of course, now his guards would always joke about it behind his back, with O'Brien leading the pack as usual. He climbed the steps carefully and made his way to the podium as Lulu and Reginald had done. He took the microphone from Lucy's outstretched hand and turned to address an audience that was still in near tears.

"To the judges I say, I don't know if this was supposed to be a compliment or not, but thanks anyway."

His dimpled grin quickly won over the crowd once more, and the entire room cheered for one of its most feared and disliked citizens. Suddenly anxious to get out of the limelight, Sonny turned and strode off the stage, his heeled pirate boots clicking against the hardwood. His tight leggings poked out from underneath his long blue pirate coat, its tassels waving to and fro with the movement. Descending the stairs, Sonny adjusted his slipping three-cornered hat with a claw hand and then fixed his silken eye patch, almost knocking over the realistic parrot perched on his shoulder. His sword clanged against the side of the aisle as he walked for his seat, causing aisle side patrons to jump out of the way.

Jason snickered as his boss took his seat.

"I definitely don't think it was meant to be a compliment, Sonny."

"And the award for Most Contradictory goes to Jason Morgan for being an accountant!"

The audience howled once more as Jason rose from his seat. Sonny, Carly, and Courtney all rose from their seats as well, clapping and yelling. Jason walked for the stage quickly, swinging a leather attaché case in his right hand. Figured that he had to win. Figured that the entire city, not to mention his own family, would get to see the Jason Quartermaine he could have become. Clean, respectable, dignified. Well, not for long, he vowed. As soon as he got home, he'd take off his clothes and burn them.

He made a mental note to find out who all the judges were and tell Johnny to shut off their electricity or boot their cars. Johnny and the other guards would have a field day with that.

He took the small set of stairs two at a time and was soon standing in front of Lucy, who held out his award. He reached for it and considered getting back to his seat as quickly as possible. Instead, he did something he never would have done in his right mind.

Turning around to face the audience, he ran a hand over his slicked back hair, rock hard from all the gel he had applied. Adjusting his tie and then smoothing a hand over it, he brought his index finger up to his nose and shoved his brown horn-rimmed glasses back into place. And then he calmly walked back to his seat.

The crowd sat stunned, and then erupted into giggles. Resuming his seat, Jason saw Carly wiping away her tears and Courtney pounding the table while laughing. Sonny lounged back in his chair and idly poked the deposed parrot.

"Gee, Jase," he drawled. "Do you think _that_ was a compliment, or just wishful thinking?"

"And the award for Foreign Costume goes to Emily Quartermaine for her portrayal of an Indian bride! And let me say, that was quite an unusual and challenging assignment. Good job, Emily!"

Emily rose carefully from her seat. The room thundered with applause once more as she squeezed past her friends for the stage. Zander rose to help her but she smiled and waved him away.

She reached down and lifted her heavy skirt off the floor with both hands. The thick red cloth with gold beadwork and embroidery was quite a challenge to handle and she carefully chose her steps, her two-inch sandals clicking on the linoleum, her gold ankle bracelets tinkling with each footfall. Her armful of gold bracelets tinkled and clinked as she ascended the stairs and made her way carefully toward Lucy.

Jason gasped as his baby sister stepped into the spotlight. "Wow," he breathed. The direct lights made all her gold handiwork and jewelry gleam brilliantly. Her skirt was full and decked out with golden beads and fancy threadwork and swirled gracefully around her, her toes all but disappearing underneath. A short red cotton undershirt peeked out from underneath her longer uppershirt, and stopped just above her navel. The longer shirt went down to her hips, and was full of the same beads and threadwork as her skirt. The neckline plunged into a V-shaped, and the shirt was held together by three hooks down the front. A thick strip of fancy gold work was sewn onto the edges of the shirt. The sleeves ended at her elbows, and the cuffs were made of the same gold strip.

Jason marveled at all the gold bracelets his sister wore. They covered her arms from elbow to wrist. Some were red, some were gold, some were gold with red stones, all were brilliantly gleaming and quietly tinkling with her steps. A long and wide piece of cloth with the same gold work, only heavier, he judged, swept around her back and covered her hair. It was pinned at her shoulders and then onto her shirt, giving her a purely feminine and graceful appearance. From her forehead dangled a strange piece of jewelry that he had never seen before. It was gold and extremely ornate, and spanned about three inches in length. It was a series of progressively larger gold circles, all held together by three gold chains and the entire piece was presumably pinned to her hair.

He squinted at the bright light: was that a nose ring? It was indeed. A large gold hoop swung from Emily's pierced nose. When had she gotten it pierced? How come he had never noticed? A slender gold chain hooked onto the nose ring and swept across her cheekbone to disappear behind her head scarf and attach into her hair.

As Emily stood by the podium to accept her award, Lucy marveled at the young woman before her. By now, news had spread about Emily's cancer and the girl had begun chemotherapy treatments. Her hair was thinning but not gone, and she was often a bit lightheaded. It was a wonder she came to the function at all, much less participated. Her cheeks were flushed with the heat, and her skin was slightly pale despite her makeup, but her eyes were warm and dancing with delight.

Lucy held up the award, but yanked it back when Emily reached for it. "Hold on now, she grinned. "You didn't think I'd just let you off the hook this easy, did you?"

Emily's face twisted in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"Your outfit!" Lucy exclaimed. Turning toward the audience, she sang out, "Don't you guys want to hear where she got it from?"

Emily blushed as the room erupted in applause.

"So where'd you get it from?" Lucy asked eagerly.

"I got it from a friend of mine," Emily responded softly. "She, Elizabeth, and I sat at the same lunch table during high school. All four years."

"Is she here in the audience tonight?" Lucy questioned.

"No," Emily replied, shaking her head and sending her jewelry flying. "She's in England right now, visiting her grandparents."

Lucy reached a hand out to finger the fabric of Emily's shirt. "So I guess she wasn't the one who helped you put together this ensemble, huh?"

"Nope," Emily answered. "Elizabeth got me ready. She's the only other person who knows how to put these things together."

"Well," Lucy cried. "How's about a great big round of applause for Emily and Elizabeth, for treating us to this amazing spectacle!"

The crowd clapped respectfully once more as Emily made her way back to her seat, Nikolas' hand now at her elbow.

"And finally, it's time for the Cutest Couple!" Lucy cried, clapping her hands over her head. The audience followed suit, applauding enthusiastically for the next winners. Lucy ripped open her envelope, then spoke into the microphone, "And the winners are Georgie Jones and Dillon Hornsby-Quartermaine for their portrayal of Lucy and Ricky Ricardo!"

The entire room burst into thunderous applause as the young couple made their way onto stage.

Georgie approached the podium a few steps ahead of Dillon. She wore a red dress with small white polka dots that ended halfway down her calf. On her feet were no-nonsense crimson shoes, the inch-high heels clicking across the hardwood. She wore a red wig, pulled up elegantly at the sides to form a fancy bun on her head. A pearl necklace showcased her pale neck and pearl rings adorned her slender fingers. Dillon stood next to her at the podium, his normally crazy hair slicked back with an abundance of hair gel. He wore a striking black suit with a black tie underneath, and his polished black shoes sparkled under the fluorescent lights. Both Dillon and Georgie wore sparkling diamond wedding bands on their ring fingers.

Georgie grabbed the microphone and spoke into it, using her persona's characteristic squeaky voice. "Hello, ladies and gentlemen," she called. "My name is Lucy Ricardo and I just want to say-"

"Lucy!" Dillon exclaimed, rubbing his temples. "How many times have I told you that you cannot be in my show?"

"Aww, Ricky," Georgie whined, clutching Dillon's arm. "You know I have the talent! Why can't you ever let me be in show business?"

"I don't want you to be in show bizness!" Dillon screamed angrily, exercising his best Cuban accent. He stepped up to the microphone and spoke calmly, "Ladies and Gentlemen, tonight I will performing for you my number one hit, Babaloo."

"Oh, Ricky," Georgie huffed. "Nobody wants to hear that song again."

"Yes they do," came Dillon's annoyed reply.

"Honestly, Ricky," Georgie cried, throwing her hands in the air in exasperation. "You just can't admit that you've Baba'd your last Loo!"

Right on cue, Lucas stood up from his seat and yelled, "Lucy, I think you have enormous stage talent!"

Dillon glared at him, and his apparent anger increased when Georgie shot Lucas a sweet smile. Taking advantage of the situtation, she turned to her partner and grinned, "Don't be jealous, Ricky."

"I am not yellous!" Dillon exclaimed.

"Yealous?" Lucy echoed from behind the two children.

"Yeah, he means jealous," Georgie clarified.

Lucy nodded and addressed the young couple once more. "This took some serious coordination, guys," she smiled. "You two should be very proud of yourselves."

"Well, you know what they say," Dillon replied, wrapping an arm around Georgie. "Ducks with wings are glued to each other."

The audience laughed as Lucy shot him a questioning look. Georgie sighed, then snatched the microphone from him. "He means 'Birds of a feather flock together'," she clarified again.

The two accepted their awards and quickly made their way off stage as the audience cheered once more.

"And now, folks," Lucy yelled. "The moment we've all been waiting for – the Best in Show!"

The room thundered once more, and Lucy hastily resumed her speech.

"The judges voted unanimously for this one after her stellar performance yesterday. I've seen this one personally, and let me tell you, it takes the cake. I could gush on and on about this one, but then you guys would probably trample me, so without further ado, here's –"

Lucy's delivery was cut short by a loud _crash_ outside the Versailles Room. The entire audience twisted around in their seats and gaped at the large oak doors. Lucy stood silently on the stage, a smug smile gracing her countenance. She knew exactly what was going on, but she also knew enough to play along.

Suddenly, two doormen burst through the doors, anchoring them to the walls while yelling, "Out of our way! Out of our way! She'll plow us over!" The doors were fully open and a loud growling noise caused several people to jump out of their seats in surprise.

The noise grew louder and louder, more terrible with every second. Jason looked at Sonny only to find his boss with the same confused look he knew he had on his own face. Courtney and Carly squealed in fright as the lights around them dimmed, and the noise grew increasingly louder. They clutched each other as their tables began to vibrate, unable to imagine what was happening around them.

Jason gaped in shock; all he could do was watch as a black blur stopped at the doorway of the Versailles Room. As his eyes took in what was before them, his mouth went dry.

_Holy sh!t._

Elizabeth Webber, astride a glistening black hog, had crashed the Nurses Ball. She defiantly surveyed the now silent room, the corner of her mouth tilted up in a cocky smirk. Her eyes met Jason's, but her mischievous smile never faltered. Turning her sights back on the stage, Elizabeth revved up the bike, pleased with the way it growled beneath her.

Putting the bike to motion, Elizabeth sped down the aisle as fast as safety would allow, but to Jason it seemed as if she was flying. His stomach clenched and he balled his fists in his lap as she flew past them. Next to him, he could hear Sonny swearing a blue streak.

Elizabeth reached the stage in a matter of seconds, putting the kickstand down with her foot. She glanced at a grinning Lucy, who instantly smothered her smile. Dismounting, she leaned against the bike and defiantly surveyed the audience once more.

_Holy sh!t._

The words echoed through his mind once more as he took her in. Her hair was down and framing her face, much like it was that night in her studio after Carly's Welcome-back-from-the-dead party. Her cheeks were delicately flushed from the heat, and she raked another stoic glare over the suddenly silent audience. She wore a cranberry colored tank top that clung to her like a second skin, outlining every curve in her upper body and ending low enough to offer a glimpse of cleavage. A heavy black leather jacket covered her small frame, and tight black jeans emphasized her shapely legs. Ankles crossed, the silver buckle of her scuffed up black motorcycle boots glinted under the stage lights. A silver Rolex caught the light as she stood up straight, and when she placed her hands on her hips, offering a fleeting glimpse of her Glock tucked away in its holster, the entire audience gasped in unison.

She remained at her bike as Lucy approached with the trophy. The crowd remained completely silent.

"Here you are, Elizabeth," Lucy began almost timidly as she extended the trophy to her.

"_Elizabeth_?" She directed an arctic glare at Lucy, causing the older woman to mock-stutter.

"N-no, of course not," she amended. "I meant, here you are, _Jason_."

This earned several giggles from a few members of the audience. Elizabeth turned back to face them, her delicate nostrils flaring as she raked an angry glare over them all, promptly shutting up those who were laughing.

"Anything you'd like to say, Jason?" Lucy asked.

Elizabeth glanced at her. After blinking a couple of times, she answered tersely, "No."

"Well," Lucy pushed on. "That's a very nice costume."

Elizabeth snorted and rolled her eyes. "Thanks."

"It must have taken quite a while to plan it all out," Lucy added cheerfully.

"Not really."

As those around him did their best to stifle their chuckles and smiles, Jason glared at the petite figure on stage. He rarely let anything get to him, but this stunt really hit its mark. He sulked back into his chair, still glowering. How dare she mock him like that? Who did she think she was, him? Damn it.

He set his mouth firmly and clenched his water glass. He wanted to do something, anything, to get her off the stage. To end this charade. And then he wanted to yell at her. Explode at her. Tell her how dangerous it was for her to ride her motorcycle down a narrow aisle in a room full of people, given her experience. And where did she get that bike? It had better not be his.

Shaking his head, he focused in on his anger again. She was still on stage, offering only a stoic glare and one-word answers. Damn it, he was never like this.

Johnny's movement at the table in front of him caught his attention. Curious, he leaned forward to watch the guard pull a slim cell phone out of his pocket, hiding it in his lap. He kept it hidden while punching a few numbers.

Back on stage, Jason's humiliation continued.

"Oh," Lucy stammered. "Well-"

"Look, is there anything else?" Elizabeth asked impatiently. "I really have to go-"

The ring of a cell phone cut her off. She put her hand up instantly, silencing Lucy. She retrieved her own slim cell from her jacket pocket and flicked it open with her thumbnail.

"Morgan."

The audience tittered nervously. When they saw that they weren't going to be intimidated into silence, they grew bolder, chuckling and giggling slightly louder.

Jason still glowered in his seat. There was nothing so damn funny about answering a phone that way.

"Look, Benny, didn't we already go over this?" she asked, her voice full of frustration and impatience. "All you have to do is dig up the old files on the guy. What do we pay you for?"

Johnny chuckled, still holding the phone discreetly in his lap. The audience began to laugh openly at the ordeal unfolding before them.

A chuckle escaped Sonny, and he shrugged when Jason glared at him. Sometimes his young friend really did sound like that. And what's more, he decided under Jason's withering glare, Elizabeth had Jason down pat.

"Look, I don't know!" Elizabeth burst out. "Call Sonny."

She shut her phone and was about to slip it into her pocket when it rang once more.

"Morgan."

Lucy chuckled behind Elizabeth. The young woman was really putting on quite a show. Back in his seat, Jason had decided he was going to kill Johnny. And then smash the guard's cell into tiny pieces.

"Yeah, Johnny, it's me. What happened? Carly broke a nail?" her shocked voice brought another round of giggles from the crowd, while Carly squeaked indignantly. Johnny turned back to glance briefly at his four employers. Earning a glare from all four, he turned back. They should all be grateful Elizabeth isn't going after Courtney, he thought. Tons of ammunition there.

"Look, I don't care," Elizabeth continued onstage. "Put another guard on her. Put another two, actually. I can't allow these accidents to happen."

She flicked off her cell and shoved it into her pocket, only to have it go off again.

"Morgan." She listened intently for a few seconds. "Yeah, Sonny. What was that?" She listened some more, creasing her brow in apparent concentration. "Dry cleaning? Yeah, sure. Where'd you take it?"

The audience laughed loudly once more. They all had their suspicions anyway that Jason usually picked up Sonny's clothes.

"The one on Elm? Yeah, I'll pick it up. Sure thing, boss." She put away her cell, turning to an audience that was nearly rolling on the floor.

In his seat, Jason tossed his crimson napkin onto the table. Thinking better of it, he picked it up and tossed it at Johnny's head as the guard put his phone back in his pocket.

Now that was going too far. He was _not_ Sonny's little errand boy.

Interrupting his thoughts, Sonny placed a hand on Jason's shoulder. "That reminds me, Jase," he whispered. "Did you pick up my silk suit before we came here?"

"Yeah," came the hushed answer.

Right on cue, Taggert stood up from his nearby table. "Hey, Anger Boy," he jeered. Elizabeth's fiery eyes snapped up to meet his.

"I just came from the PCPD, my friend," Taggert continued. "Turns out, you've been identified once again as a suspect in the drug ring. Guess you'll have to come back with me tonight."

Elizabeth glared at him, blinking several times. Calmly, she walked to the center of the stage, crossing her arms across her chest. "You got a warrant?"

"Warrants aren't everything," came the answer. "I know you're involved, and I can prove-"

"Then you got nothing," she answered. She said it without feeling, much as she had seen Jason do. Even Taggert was amazed at her performance.

"Whatever you say, Anger Boy," he jeered once more. "I'm going to put you away, once and for all. You're a complete degenerate. You're not fit to roam the streets. It's just such a shame that the taxpayers have to pay for your maintenance at prison. If I had my way, well-" he smirked at her. "Just be thankful, for once, that there are laws that even _I_ have to obey."

Elizabeth snorted and flipped her hair. She stood her ground and stared at Taggert for a minute. As the seconds ticked by, the crowd laughed louder and louder. It wasn't every day that someone took Jason Morgan down a peg. And a woman, moreover.

Presently, Taggert resumed his seat and Elizabeth walked back to her bike. Or actually, Jason's bike. Johnny, Max, and Francis had helped her swindle it in the middle of the night. And tonight, Jason would be delayed by Lucy long enough for them to put it back. Ah, connections.

"Look, I have to go," Elizabeth tossed in Lucy's general direction.

"But-"

"I have to go!" With an air of impatience, Elizabeth whipped her motorcycle gloves from her pocket and jammed them on, flexing her fingers repeatedly.

All around Sonny and Jason, people were rolling on the floor in laughter. As Jason glowered some more, his irritation quickly turned to anger as Sonny joined in, laughing fully and loudly at the brunette's antics.

Elizabeth straddled the bike and started it. Revving it up, she was soon speeding up the wide aisles and was out the door, leaving an audience in near tears.

"Now that" Sonny said between howls of glee. "Was nowhere near a compliment or wishful thinking." He paused to wipe away his tears, still laughing. "That was pure, unadulterated satire."

_**The Next Day…**_

"Come on, girls, pick up the pace," Bobby called from the counter. "The lunch bunch is coming in!" Kelly's was jam packed, and all the waitresses were doing their best to serve the customers.

"I'd like a tuna melt with iced tea, please," spoke up a man from a corner table. Elizabeth quickly jotted it down, then almost rammed into Penny.

"Ham and cheese sandwich, hon," an elderly woman called to Penny.

"I'd like a plain turkey with extra mustard and onions," added a young college student from behind his computer magazine.

Elizabeth darted into the kitchen with Penny at her heels to fill the order. Courtney manned the register, slowing up the process and irritating customers by giving incorrect change. Bobbie rolled her eyes and followed her girls into the kitchen. She had scarcely put her hand on the swinging door before Elizabeth and Penny came barreling out, orders in hand. They quickly served their customers then rushed to get other orders.

Sonny Corinthos entered the restaurant, sliding into a corner booth. He waved a hand at Penny, telling her he didn't want anything yet. Folding his arms on the table, he took in the scene around him.

Elizabeth was darting to and fro from the floor to the kitchen, expertly taking orders and serving her patrons. He watched her swipe at the moisture glistening on her brow. Then he sat and waited. It would only be a matter of time.

Presently, the rush abated. The center tables and corner tables still held several customers, but the frenzied rush had passed. Grateful for the break, the waitresses moved about at a more comfortable speed.

"Hey, Elizabeth," Penny called as they made their way into the kitchen.

"Yeah?" Elizabeth asked, retrieving ketchup from the refrigerator.

"That was quite a performance last night; you totally had Jason down!"

Elizabeth blushed. "Thanks," she murmured as she and Penny walked behind the counter.

Courtney scoffed. As Sonny watched from his inconspicuous seat, she turned away from the register and sneered at Elizabeth. "You sure had guts to pull that off, Elizabitch."

Elizabeth rolled her eyes. And here it would begin. "Luck of the draw, Corky."

"Jason is _nothing_ like that, and you know it."

Elizabeth turned to face her adversary. "And how long have you known him, Courtney?" she asked. "Because I have known that man like the back of my hand for more than three years."

With that, she turned on her heel and walked towards the jukebox. Penny smirked at Courtney. The blonde was hoping for Elizabeth to put up a fight, but thankfully, Elizabeth had the self-control and the dignity not to.

Dropping in a dime, Elizabeth punched in the number for 'Sweet Home Alabama'. As the opening notes began, she walked back to retrieve her order pad. As she passed Sonny, he called out to her.

"Good show last night, _Jason_."

"Thanks boss," she countered with a smirk.

"And hey, how'd you know about the dry cleaning?"

"Just a hunch."

"Oh." He sat back and grinned at her retreating form. Any time now.

"Courtney, your shift is over," Bobbie called from the kitchen.

"Thank god," the blonde huffed, grabbing her purse. She made a beeline out of the restaurant without so much as a second glance at her older brother.

"Ditto," muttered Penny as Elizabeth snickered.

"Ok, girls," Bobbie said, emerging from the kitchen and wiping her hands with a towel. "You two just have a few more tables to do tonight."

"But Bobbie," Elizabeth began, furrowing her brows in confusion. "Penny and I still have two hours left."

"I'm closing early tonight," the redhead answered with a smile. Penny, all you have to do are the corner tables, and Elizabeth, the center tables are yours. The customers are pretty much finishing up. They won't take long."

"Thanks, Bobbie," the girls echoed, moving off to finish their customers. Far be it for them to complain.

Outside, Jason walked up the red brick path to Kelly's. She had to be here; she was working. Now he'd finally get the chance to corner her. He opened the door and stepped in, not noticing Sonny at the corner table.

Sonny quickly brought his newspaper up, trying to hide before he was spotted. He had poked a hole through the front page of the paper, and now he was ready for the real show to start.

"Elizabeth, can I have a word with you?" Jason asked. He stuffed his hands safely into the pocket, stifling his ever-present urge to strangle her.

She looked up from her table. "Sorry, Jason, but I'm a bit busy right now." Damn it. What was he doing here? She _knew_ her little stunt would land her in hot water. Stupid conscience. It never listened. Her subconscious obviously had a death wish for her.

"This won't take long," he replied, moving toward her. Elizabeth turned away from her customers, pad in hand, and was about to make her way safely into the kitchen to have the order filled, but Jason grabbed her elbow.

Pricks of electricity shot through her arm and his fingers, and he quickly released her after spinning her around to face him.

She tried to read his eyes. Slightly angry, she concluded. But was that – was he – amused, too? No, couldn't be. Jason was _never_ amused. She probably just mistook his _amusement _for how funny the thought of stuffing her in a garbage can probably was for him.

Jason could see the apprehension in her eyes. Damn stupid woman, he thought. She probably thought he was going to stuff her in a meat locker or something.

"I want to know what the hell you thought you were doing last night."

Elizabeth swallowed. Oh, yeah, he was definitely going to stuff her in a garbage can. Or maybe he'd hang her from a coat rack, although if the rumors were true, that was reserved especially for his older brother. She was dimly aware that the entire restaurant, including Penny and Bobbie, were staring at her, but she couldn't tear her gaze from his piercing blue eyes.

"I was playing the part of Jason Morgan."

"Really." It was a statement, not a question, but she treated it as such.

"Yeah," she began, rubbing her suddenly sweaty palms on her apron. Damn him for making her so nervous sometimes. "See, I drew the slip in the hospital, after Em and I came back from the Cape, and I tried to switch but Lucy wouldn't let me." She knew she was babbling but she didn't care. "I tried to get out of it, but then I decided I could do it. It didn't seem too hard, after all, we've known each other for a few years, right?"

She paused to catch her breath but the air caught in her throat as Jason stepped forward, his chest inches away from hers. He lowered his face until she could smell his warm breath, and plucked her order pad from her fingers.

"You seemed to be having quite a lot of fun, Elizabeth," he baited, his blue eyes sparkling dangerously.

Oh, she knew that look. "Just doing what I was supposed to," she offered with a small smile. "Wouldn't want to disappoint anyone, right? After all, the show must go on."

"No, you're right," Jason smiled. He moved back a step, giving Elizabeth some much-needed breathing room. She looked suspiciously up at him, not trusting his outwardly warm smile. Whenever Jason Morgan smiled like that, you knew there was going to be trouble.

His grin widened at her skepticism and he crossed his arms smugly over his chest, his forearms a scant distance from her chest. He cocked his head and continued, well aware that they were both being watched. "It must have been quite a thrill, though," he drawled with a lopsided grin. "To be me, I mean. To play me on stage in front of a whole bunch of people." The entire town, to be exact.

"You know what?" piped up Elizabeth's forgotten customer. "Never mind my order."

Neither Jason nor Elizabeth heard him. Jason moved closer still and murmured, "Must have been quite a rush. Telling Lucy to shove it, kicking Taggert down, riding your motorcycle into a formal dining room." He stopped, trying to read her emerald eyes for any sign that the bike she used actually was his. But her green orbs betrayed nothing, and he silently cursed himself for not being able to read her as well as he used to.

"You should have seen the look on your grandfather's face," she smiled slyly. "I think it brought back old memories for him."

He smirked at her teasing. "Admit it. You had fun."

"I had fun."

"All right then," he whispered, moving closer still. If she was intimidated by his proximity or size, she didn't show it, just kept gazing up at him with that same dauntless expression on her face. Hey, she thought. If she was going to be stuffed into some small container anyway, she might as well have fun before.

"Hm?"

"How would you like it if you were imitated in front of the whole town?" His question bore no vengeance or malice, just curiosity.

She considered for a moment before truthfully answering, "If it was done in good taste, I don't think I'd mind. In fact, I'd probably be laughing right along with everyone else."

"Really?" Again, it was a statement, not a question.

"Sure."

He smirked down at her. This was going to be good.

From behind his newspaper, Sonny stifled his chuckle. This was going to be good.

Jason lifted Elizabeth's order pad up to read. "Hm, an apple turnover, huh?" He turned to the customer next to him, a young man with a wife and two small children, who instantly shrank away from him. Jason walked past Elizabeth, pivoting quickly on his heel to untie her apron and yank it away from her body.

She squeaked in surprise and jumped around to see him toss his leather jacket onto a nearby table and wrap the green cloth around his own slim waist.

"Jason, what are you-"

"Hey, if you can be me, then I can be you," he answered, knotting the apron behind him. "Besides, if you'll excuse me, I'm a little busy right now."

"You can't-"

But Jason spun around and walked back behind the counter. He lifted the glass cover from the turnover tray, sliding one of the pastries onto a clean porcelain dish. He made his way back to Elizabeth's table, ignoring the look on her face.

Elizabeth's jaw dropped as Jason served her customer. He slid the pastry in front of the pale man, plucking a napkin from the holder and folding it in half, sliding it under the dish.

"Will there be anything else, sir?" he asked with a cheerful smile.

"Um," stammered the man, adjusting his glasses. "N-no thank you, sir."

Elizabeth was about to interject when Penny grabbed her elbow and steered her by the cash register.

"Chill, Elizabeth," she whispered. "Let's see how far he takes this."

"But-"

"Shh!" came the terse reply.

Several customers hurriedly gathered their things, tossing their money on the table in their haste to get out of the diner. Only two center tables and three corner tables still held transfixed customers, too startled and bewildered to leave.

Sonny chuckled at the situation. Jason was hurriedly rushing back to the counter to retrieve the coffee pot while Elizabeth gaped at him from her position next to Penny. Penny was doing her best to smother her smile, but she wasn't succeeding. She looked around the room and her brown eyes met Sonny's, poking out from behind his newspaper. She arched her brow in a silent question but Sonny just shrugged his shoulders.

Outside, Alan Quartermaine strolled up the cobbled pathway to Kelly's. He had finally decided to come out of his office after being cooped up for most of the day as well as the day before. As he approached the wooden doors, the sight that awaited him through the glass panels made his blood run in the opposite direction.

Jason, his son, was hurrying from table to table with a coffee pot in hand. He'd give customers their refills, fetch their pastries, all with a cheerful smile on his face.

Alan turned away, walking back up the footpath faster than he'd come. He never should have left the office.

Back inside, Jason had finished the coffee rounds with the center tables and most of the corner ones. He stopped at the table by the coat rack, where some patron had been reading the same page of the Gazette since he had come in.

Plastering on a grin, he asked in a cheerful tone, "Would you like some coffee sir?"

The customer stirred, and folded his newspaper, placing it delicately on the tabletop.

"No, thanks," Sonny grinned up at him, flashing his trademark dimples. "I was just leaving anyway." Oh, this was perfect. If only he had a camera; it might take some of the "pirate" heat off of him as far as the guards were concerned. And this was one thing he was never going to let Jason live down.

In their corner, Penny and Elizabeth couldn't keep the giggles from escaping. The look on Jason's face after seeing Sonny was enough to send them both off the deep end. And Jason with an apron and a coffee pot wasn't helping matters any.

Jason snorted and turned away from his boss, heading to the next table. "Make sure you do," he called over his shoulder. "It's getting late and we're about to close."

Sonny chuckled, stretching back in his chair to make the most of the remainder of the show. This was definitely a once-in-a-lifetime moment.

Jason made his way to the center table, his eye on two bickering toddlers whose parents were desperately trying to shut them up. Elizabeth moved to head him off, but Penny grabbed her and pulled her back. "Let him handle it, Elizabeth," she demanded, anxiously watching Jason.

Jason moved between the two children, who were now starting a food fight. Sighing, he dropped to his knees between their highchairs and yanked the spoons from their grubby hands, ignoring their squeals and protests. He set them on the table and jumped up to retrieve his wet dish towel from the counter.

Returning, he mopped up one toddler's face before cleaning up the other's, then mopped up the table a bit. The two parents simply gawked up at him, unable to believe that one of the most feared mob enforcers on the East Coast was cleaning up a fight between their twins.

The children still squawked and screamed, and Jason ran back to the counter to grab another apple turnover, cutting it in half on his way to the table. He served one half to one child and the other half to the other one, setting child-safe soft plastic spoons next to each plate. "On the house," he murmured as he moved away.

He had no idea how Elizabeth did this on a daily basis.

Elizabeth was amazed as the two toddlers settled down and dug into their pastries. Those two came in every other night, and were obviously out of their parents' control since they started a food fight during each and every visit. It usually took three waitresses to calm the kids down and get the family out the door.

Jason placed the coffee pot back on the counter. Leaning against it to survey his patrons. Penny and Elizabeth made a beeline for the coat rack behind Sonny, jostling the man in the process. They grabbed their purses and turned back to Jason, all smiles.

"Thanks, Jason!" Penny sang out, adjusting her purse and fumbling for her car keys.

"Yeah, thanks!" Elizabeth echoed with a wide grin. "You just finished up all our tables, and we're outta here!" Both erupted into laughter as they headed for the door, conscious of Jason's sudden glare.

Damn them. They knew what they were doing the whole time. He wiped a hand over his face, irritated at how the situation had turned out. It wasn't supposed to be about working; it was supposed to be about mimicking Elizabeth in a manner similar to the way she had teased him.

His annoyance quickly turned to anger once more as Sonny joined in, pounding a fist on the table at Jason's predicament. "You make a great waitress, kid," he managed to choke out. "The service here has definitely improved."

"Shut the # up, Sonny."

"Ah, ah, ah," Sonny ribbed, wagging a finger in the air. "This is a family restaurant."

Jason took a threatening step towards him. "I'll give you your family restaurant, you son-of-a-"

"Oh, wait!" came Elizabeth's voice. She quickly opened the door and stepped back in. "I forgot something." She grinned at Jason, wiggling a brow at his apron. He quickly untied it and tossed it onto the table in disgust. Elizabeth disappeared into the kitchen, coming out only moments later with an award in her hands.

"I brought this here this morning because the girls wanted to see it," she explained. She smiled as Jason snorted. "It's the one I got when I won for being Jason," she clarified for Sonny's benefit. When he nodded, she continued. "And I thought you deserved something for your portrayal of me, Morgan."

Her smile grew as his lips curled in a sneer. "What the hell-"

"Ah, ah, ah," she clucked, wagging a finger in the air. "This is a family restaurant."

"What is it with you people?" Jason burst out, throwing his hands in the air. Sonny only snickered in response.

"Anyway," Elizabeth continued, shooting Sonny a warning glance. She turned toward her counterpart and held out the trophy. "I think we should share this, Morgan," she said with a mischievous smile.

Jason sized her up with a smirk. She was standing a pace away from him, trophy extended, hair falling into her eyes. He lifted a hand to smooth it away, missing Sonny's surprised cough. He tucked it back behind her ear, his hand lingering until she cocked her head at him. He placed a hand on the trophy, right above where she held it.

"You do, huh?" he murmured.

"I think it's only fair," she quipped, her eyes sparkling. "After all, you make such a great waitress." She pressed the trophy to his chest, then backed away. She picked up her purse from the table, then pointed to the video camera in the corner of the room. "I hope you know," she began, turning slowly on her heel. "That I own you now."

Sonny grinned as Elizabeth burst into laughter and spun around. But Jason was quicker. He was instantly at her side, his arms wrapped around her from behind. "What was that?" he demanded in a mock-threatening tone.

"I own you now!"

"Meaning I have to do whatever you want?"

She laughed again, her back against his chest. "Yup!"

"And what do you want, Elizabeth?"

And that's when they all saw her.

Courtney was standing in the doorway, a stunned look on her face as she took in Jason, with his arms wrapped tightly around Elizabeth's waist and her trophy in his hand. She bit her lip, forcing back tears that suddenly crept into her eyes.

Her lips twisted in a sneer. "Hm. How cozy."

"Courtney-" he began, unsure of what to say. He turned to face Elizabeth as she unwrapped his arms, stepping away from him.

"Save it," she spit out. "I told you once, Jason, I've told you a thousand times. You ever see Elizabeth again and it was over. You knew that."

Elizabeth's eyes widened. Spinning around to look at Jason, she whispered, "She gave you that ultimatum?"

As he looked into her eyes, he saw exactly what she saw. It was the same ultimatum Lucky had given her so many years ago. Ever see him again, and you don't want to know what I'll do. Ever see him again, and you don't know how much you'll hurt me.

"Stay out of this, Elizabitch," came the caustic reply.

For once, Elizabeth bit back an insult and turned away from them, grabbing her keys from where she left them on the counter.

"It all makes sense now, Jason," Courtney continued, staring daggers at Jason. "What an amazing coincidence, all of this."

With that, she turned and fled, slamming the door behind her. Jason sighed and rubbed his temples, still staring at the floor.

"Jason?" Elizabeth asked hesitantly. "I'm sorry about that."

He spun around to face her, his hands on his hips. "Don't say that."

She nodded and looked away, playing with her keys. She knew she should just excuse herself and leave, but that seemed so…rude.

"Jason-" Sonny began, getting up from his seat and folding his coat over his arm.

"For once, Sonny, don't say anything," Jason burst out, glaring at his friend.

"I wasn't going to," the older man replied calmly. "I was just going to say that I was leaving." He glanced at the door Courtney had left from. Pointing to the other door, he continued, "That way."

Jason nodded and Sonny shuffled away. He glanced at Elizabeth, who motioned that she was going to follow suit.

"Wait," he called. "We need to talk."

She stopped by the door behind Sonny, both of them looking at him. He ignored Sonny and continued, "Can I stop by your studio later? There are probably a few things we need to clear up."

She smiled softly, mulling it over. "Cover my shift tomorrow, and we've got a deal."

She shoved Sonny out of the door, their laughter echoing through the diner.

_**Fin at last.**_


End file.
